All my life, I’ve sided with the underdog. Give me your women, your gays & lesbians, Blacks, Jews—and post-9/11, Muslims. Are you two of those? I’ll go to war for you. Give me a deaf, Black lesbian… and I’ll take bullets.

You get the idea.

But here’s the uncomfortable thought: today, the group I see struggling the most—quietly, invisibly—is the middle-aged white male, who are 4 times more likely to commit suicide.

Yes, I know how that sounds.

And yes, on paper, I check some of those boxes. Born in Iran—Indo-European background—I’d be classified as “white” on a census. I’m also a straight male. I understand the concept of privilege. I’m not denying it. In fact, as an entrepreneur and employer, I am blessed.

But here’s the part we don’t say out loud:

Privilege doesn’t immunize you from despair.

Many of these men grew up with a very clear script:

  • Provide
  • Protect
  • Be needed

And now that script is dissolving in real time.

Their kids grow up faster, need them less, and live increasingly independent, digital-first lives. Women—rightfully—are more independent than ever. They have options, agency, freedom. That’s progress. But it also means many men are no longer needed in the way they once were, while still required to provide and protect like they always have.

For a lot of men, being needed was the foundation of their identity.

At work, the rules have been shifting too. For a period, hiring and advancement conversations moved heavily toward correcting past imbalances—which is understandable. But for many individuals, it translated into a feeling (rightly or wrongly) of being passed over or deprioritized.

And just as that conversation begins to rebalance… along comes AI, threatening to disrupt entire industries—including many of the roles these men built their identities around.

So you end up with a group that is:

  • Told they’re privileged
  • Told they have it easy
  • Told to “step aside”

…while simultaneously feeling:

  • Less needed at home
  • Less secure at work
  • Less certain of their role in the world

And here’s the catch:

They’re not allowed to say any of this out loud. I “write to release the crazy.” Men aren’t necessarily the best communications, so they cannot process or release the stress and anxiety.

And if they do, the moment they do, it’s dismissed, mocked, or reframed as entitlement.

Again—this is not about taking anything away from anyone else. Progress for one group is not a loss for another.

But empathy should not be rationed.

Most of these men aren’t asking for sympathy or special treatment. They’re asking for something much simpler:

Don’t pretend their experience doesn’t exist.

Life is changing for everyone. Roles are shifting across the board.

But if we’re serious about understanding society—not just scoring points—then we have to be willing to look at all forms of struggle, even the ones that are inconvenient to acknowledge. For context, white men account for nearly 70% of suicide deaths in the U.S.—so whatever we think about ‘privilege,’ something deeper is clearly going on.

Because ignoring it doesn’t solve it.

It just pushes it underground.

And again, I am not speaking for myself, but just amplifying the pain I see and hear in others.