You know the drill: another repeat question from someone… so today we tackle something a bit different.

Another common theme that I get asked about is an area where historically all humans, but especially men, have not been comfortable discussing – and that is therapy. Growing up, one of my favorite sitcoms was Growing Pains, with Alan Thicke’s character Dr Jason Seaver served as patriarch and tried to be the best dad he could. As such, from an early age, I was drawn into the field… and by my collegial studies, I immersed myself in psychology, and sociology as well. 

In Canada (at least), major telco & media company Bell promotes Let’s Talk on January 22, 2025. Around the world, World Mental Health Day is celebrated every year on 10 October. It’s not like I haven’t previously written about anxiety, depression & such themes during my journey as an entrepreneur – both in my 3rd book The 10-year Overnight Success & on ContextIsKing.com. But after tearing my ACL playing soccer at a futbol tournament in Dubai on October 21 2021, I effectively lost what in hindsight is clear was my main outlet for stress (and let’s face it, anger management). Locked down during Covid and pushing myself harder than ever, I experienced quite the roller coaster ride for a period of time in 2022/23. To some, I was fine and the same; but others amongst my family, friends and close colleagues could sense something was off. My “salvation” throughout was actually work, as I used it as an outlet to stay focused… not that differently from a musical artist who may crank out their best works while struggling with inner demons & uncertainty.

In any case, what I believed to be physical ailments were in fact rooted in psychological challenges, and when you combine the two, I ultimately was undergoing severe physiological issues. I have been on the fence about opening up on these despite my historical transparency, but if anyone is interested in the deeper dive, I don’t have any issues in opening up a bit more, as it can surely help others and if it can avoid one person from experiencing these, then it’s worth it. Truth is people who know me professionally or saw me compete in sports viewed me as a warrior machine who could undergo and withstand tremendous amounts of stress and somehow come out stronger… but we are all humans and if a car needs fine-tuning and an oil change, then I assure you no human is immune from this reality. 

The TL;DR non-personal version is simple, summarizing my “education” (which refers to research, findings, and as a perennial student extensive discussions with therapists who specialize in different fields of psychology and psychiatry. FWIW, I never got to a point where I needed medication, though there’s no harm in that if need be.

For me, the hesitation to seek therapy had nothing to do with social stigma, but personal hurdles… It wasn’t until I realized “you enjoy speaking to lawyers, accountants, all professionals… Why is this different? You like psychology, even if you think you are a lost cause, maybe you’ll learn something and if it helps you, great”.

I’ll preface the way I preface other advice by saying I am not an expert, so take this as laymen advice. 

– Maybe 50% of your near-term issues can be solved at least temporarily through proper hydration, breathing exercises & exercise. In my case, I lost the latter, and never properly did the two former, exacerbating my problems.

– Some of the fear we have wrt psychology is the concern to be sucked into the world of psychiatry, which involves medication which admittedly could become addictive and a crutch.

– While there are a dozen plus areas of psychology one can pursue, to really summarize it, in my “education” I concluded that ultimately such fields can be broken down into two (2) distinct approaches, 

one focuses on experiences (usually childhood and adolescence but technically at any time) that cause trauma and shock, which if left unattended and unresolved could snowball into much bigger problems over time when amplified through professional experiences, expectations we set for ourselves etc. I’m not sure if this is “psychotherapy” and I welcome any professionals to correct my terminology… and in fact, I would not mind someone reading my subsequent deeper dive if I proceed with it as I would not want to misname or mischaracterize anything etc. This was NOT my problem area as I had a fairly benign, mundane and uneventful childhood in this regard… but imagine extreme experiences of rape, physical/verbal abuse etc.

the other, cognitive behavior therapy, are more behavioral things that our “Nature” pre-programs in us, and our “Nurture” (using philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau’s framework) amplify. This, 100%, was my issue.

The reason I am sharing this is because IMHO it may be counter-productive and even dangerous if one needs the latter but seeks the former, and vice versa. This is why sometimes well-intentioned mental health professionals with otherwise near perfect reviews get the occasional bad review, etc. So I also learned when and how to know if someone was (not so much leading me down a dangerous path) not getting me where I needed to be.

Either way, the key is at least reflecting on 

1) what ails you, 

2) what you want help with, and 

3) then asking others to be referred to people who can play a role in helping you get through whatever it is that you are experiencing. 

I usually end up spending a lot of time on those two VERY different approaches since for me, if I need a CBT specialist, spending hours discussing if I was assaulted as a child (for example) is just going to prove frustrating, when I need to open up about other things and adopt a different approach. Conversely, someone who was raped by a family member may not have CBT issues, but just needs to discuss that and get the appropriate help and counsel. 

IMHO, this is not obvious to people who like me are going to research a subject matter and become well versed in it, as I did with say copyright, travel, cooking, sports or any of the myriad of things that make me a “font of information.”

One reason I’ve had success developing a great culture and retaining so much talent is my legitimate desire to help, to talk. My colleagues can talk to me about anything, but I realize most bosses are not like this and since many people’s issues stems at least partly from work, then you may not be able to talk to anyone. Also, while the human resources department is in theory there to assist their human capital, reality is HR works for the firm and does not really have an employee’s best interests at heart. Again, I am not perfect with my own top 10 weaknesses, but I am here to serve.

Again, as I find myself usually repeating this to friends, colleagues, strangers who reach out… you know the drill: here’s an article I can share initially to get the ball rolling for you.