IDGAF

Servant leadership, a stakeholder mindset & an empathetic management style have served me well. That will never change, but as we have gone from an unknown scrappy startup to an established successful business over twenty years, I acknowledge that “what got us here, won’t get us there.”

I always feel unease when people thank me for anything, quickly thanking them. Not rocket science where I get it from: it’s in my nature as an Iranian (mainly, via Taarof), and nurture, as a “nice Canadian.” Even when I invite friends & family over for dinner and whip up a feast, I thank them and am constantly wondering, what more could I have done?

Saying thank you, you’re welcome and especially, I am sorry doesn’t cost you anything (usually) but means a ton to the receiving party.

Business is About People & Competition

You’ve heard the story: boy dreams of becoming an entrepreneur, comes across YouTube at the right time, channels his storytelling & business skills to build media company. Then runs out of money, mortgages his place to keep the company afloat and staff intact. Eventually,  we catch lightning in a bottle, and the rest, as they say, is history.

In entrepreneurship, you have to be a talisman but any playmaker needs a team. After 20 years, we’ve gone through many cycles, and after inflation forced interest rates to rise sharply in 2022, there was a systematic retrenchment of ad dollars, we faced headwinds for the first time, but going back 8 months now, I am relieved to see that we now found our third growth period.

Since bringing on outside investors to bolster governance and professionalize our operations in 2021, as it is their duty, my board would sporadically ask whether we should mimic other companies and reduce personnel, to offset revenue declines. 

Sincerely believing in Jack Welch’s mantra that a company’s most valuable asset is its human resources, I objected and resisted, and to their credit, my board supported this wise move adherent to my mantra of putting people ahead of profit, and being long-term greedy instead. Fast forward a year, as the general shift of ad dollars continues to shift from TV to digital, AVOD & YouTube of note, we are seeing an acceleration of growth and year over year improvements. I was right, but I don’t gloat.

Get Rich or Die Trying

Business – and life – is all about risk management. Success is ultimately less about the 20% you do, but the 80% you avoid. Recently, I noticed my team had made an error, which was above and beyond the more inconsequential mistake in a list we publish and to be expected given the massive amount of information we research, produce & publish. In case you’re wondering, there are no perfect parallels, but imagine operating a concert venue and repeating over and over again to your staff to leave the fire exit door areas free for clearance in case of an emergency, and intermittently, you notice they don’t and as that ultimately endangers the venues’ patrons and – effectively the staff’s too – you leave a sign in the area saying “pay attention and cut it out!” You don’t target any single person and try to frame it in general, but as a father is a provider and protector, your feedback hurts one of your “dependant’s” feelings. It happens, there’s no malice, it comes from caring, if someone gets offended, that’s their issue, not yours: you just don’t want anyone to die (Great White concert, anyone?).

When from 2016 to 2021 I worked alongside my CFO, he once complimented me by saying I had great judgment, which I appreciated. Good judgment, ultimately, means relaying to someone that theirs may be off (in a given situation). Imagine you are Guy Laliberté and 20 years in, you run le Cirque du Soleil and your “army” is a rag tag assortment of business people, developers & designers, set engineers & builders, and creative artists: jugglers, dancers, acrobats, etc. There’s no one size fits all playbook to manage everyone. So when there is a systematic breakdown in safety standards, you try to grab their attention to ensure they recognize the scope of the mistake to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Mistakes happen in business and in life. Usually, I don’t even say anything, because I used to think that when people erred, they were aware and didn’t need harping. Some CEOs would throw people under the bus or fire someone. But it’s sometimes better to just learn from it, improve and move on. It wasn’t a big deal, the kind of email I’ve sent a handful of times over a twenty year period.

Judgment Day 

Last week while wrapping up our board, one of my directors mentioned an employee had forwarded them my email. Thankfully, I was relieved that they confirmed that the email didn’t violate any HR or ethical standards, but asked me about it. It was fair for them to bring it up, and fine to discuss. Frankly I was relieved nothing was taking out of context. I love business and management, I taught entrepreneurship at McGill and devoted a good chunk of the class to ethics. I appreciate organizational behaviour & culture more than most. This wasn’t a case of whistleblowing (which involves unethical or illegal behaviour), ultimately, this was a case of someone’s feelings being hurt (snitching involves criminal conduct, so it wasn’t even that).

I ain’t no pusher, but imagine your dealer asks you whether you’re cut out for the “street game,” and you go crying… to the cops! It’s not like the mofo pistol whipped or shot ya (that would be assault, and you’d be a snitch, but since you took a drug dealer off the street, society may not frown on you snitching). But here, a more realistic CEO would have politicized the response to the board & replied: “you’re right, I shouldn’t have sent an email but rather just put Dick on probation, Sally on paid leave & fired Bobby.”

In other words, it’s fine to want to be a hero, but unless you were in a confessional stall, WTF were you thinking? Peeing on yourself makes you a fool. The board’s sentiment was “indeed, they should leave the fire exit doors clear.”

Ya thought a board of directors protecting investors would care about your… feelings? (to be fair, my board did, because they are great humans, but in general…)

Ash, Sometimes You’re Foolish

Was I laughing? Not really. Was I mad? I really wasn’t. My reaction wasn’t even “F your feelings.” In fact, historically I would have gone out of my way to address people’s feelings… But as I thought about the context, I thought it was paradoxical that for two years I was defending the team to prevent any layoffs, and here a team member felt it would be helpful for them to forward – effectively – a mistake they made to an audience that would frown upon possibly fatal mistakes. While yes a board is responsible to all stakeholders, it’s ultimately a conduit between management and investors to protect shareholders. Let’s call a spade a spade (same way HR managers represent the company, and not employees, despite what anyone may say). Again, I write and teach this racket for a living. You disagree, let’s have the debate.

As I sat there in that board room and absorbed the feedback, explained the matter but defended my team by highlighting their overall quality record, one of my advisors asked whether I was angry. I replied candidly that I was more exasperated and frustrated for having to repeat myself so often. I really no longer get angry, the same way a cook loses sensation in their fingers after flirting with fire one too many times. I mean that. Anger, I’ve always felt, was like holding an enflamed rock and wondering why others don’t feel the pain. You gotta let go.

But I did wonder: “alright, I’m a masochist, contrarian thinker who thrives on feedback, but wouldn’t others be angry here? If this ‘betrayal’ (for lack of better term, I didn’t see it as such) didn’t cross the threshold of anger, what would?” But again, I moved on & returned to Montreal, growing increasingly disheartened by a member on my team’s judgment. Can I trust these people in combat? Now to be fair, the vast majority of my team are incredible people who appreciate our culture & the opportunities we provide. When Chris Rock said ”no man has led more black people to the Promised Land than coach Pat Riley,” the same could be said about me and young creatives struggling to find their course to success in the world of new media. We have hired hundreds of young creatives who dreamed of becoming the next Martin Scorsese but because they didn’t necessarily possess the three qualities you need to succeed as an independent creative or storyteller/entrepreneur, have embraced their careers at WatchMojo.

As I practice both retrospection and introspection (a tad too much), I did go down a rabbit hole of thought and emotions and realized how I needed to change, because people don’t change and expecting them to do is the definition of insanity. 

It’s certainly true that a company is as strong as its weakest link. But this could have been anyone, a star even. Probably not. We don’t have that many full time employees, I kinda know who likely forwarded my feedback, the same way that I can tell whether daughter 1 or daughter A made a particular mess in the kitchen! But I am neither a vindictive person nor was I interested in a witch hunt. This was more about me changing my tactics and thinking (as I have all my life), while staying true to my principles – hence principles in practice.

In fact, before I would have said “whomever this was, maybe they should be someone I ask about other general matters.” But then, I wondered: what does this say about their judgment (I didn’t question their courage or intentions). I’ve constantly sought feedback & suggestions from the team to the point that my latest anonymous Google form is basically the loneliest and most pathetic of suggestion boxes, receiving one whopping single entry. I guess it’s better than nothing, and maybe indeed “no news is good news.”

I love media, content, storytelling, running a company – all of it really. I love people & competition. Inasmuch as Craigslist founder Craig Newmark was ultimately head of customer service at the online classified disruptor and behemoth, as CEO, I am the de facto CXO of WatchMojo, serving as its CFO, CRO, CMO, Editor in Chief etc. too. Not by choice, over twenty years we have brought in many more experienced veterans here and there. While YouTube may have indeed replaced TV, it’s not traditional media and old media folks look like fish out of water when navigating social video platforms.

Ultimately, I remained loyal not just to the core founding team but also the mid-level managers & “front line” team whose tenure runs 5, 10, 15 and even 20 years! When said and done, I rather give an opportunity to the unproven, go with youth and the team that built the brand than the mercenaries who parachuted in the heady late 2010s, before the pandemic forced us to streamline operations and eliminate needless complexity. 

Embrace Your Inner Crazy

But as vain as it seems, this was the first time I wondered whether collectively my team weigh me down (to be fair most are awesome and enabled my/our success – but it only takes one person for you to change). To me, thinking this let alone writing it would have been heresy until recently, but it’s emancipating and therapeutic to state so, for my own eyes to understand and register this. 

We all love sports analogies in business, but whereas Tom Brady had to be an assassin on every single play, to win in business, you have to embrace playing quarterback and waterboy, winning means the combination of people and their respective talents & skills to achieve a goal. Until now, I always prioritized the team’s preferences & feelings, but the clear lack of judgment demonstrated to me that perhaps, I was (as I tend to do) giving way too much credit to other people’s judgment and needed to be more assertive (which, incidentally, was my board’s conclusion).

While the exploits we achieved over two decades are indeed impressive, these days my job toggles from high profile partnerships & projects to more mundane and routine tasks. My job is neither sexy nor glamorous. Effectively, I run the “centre help desk” across all departments when matters are escalated. I love stepping in to solve problems and unclog bottlenecks. The error in question could have been prevented with better communication, which I always encourage. But here, my underlying feedback to the team was “you thought you were experts (for lack of a better word), which is ironic, since despite being an actual domain expert, I don’t pretend to be a know-it-all and am constantly seeking feedback.” That was it! That was the gist of it.  

Perhaps because I’m writing this in my first visit to the Mecca of entertainment (no, not Hollywood, but Disneyworld), I developed a better appreciation for what it takes to evolve with the times, take smart risks but avoid self-inflicted wounds, embrace technology and push ahead even when your team may not “get it.” You’re the entrepreneur, after all, and as trite as it seems, it’s your vision, though you need to recruit the best team to implement and execute the mission (ie how one accomplishes the vision).

People vs Competition, Anger vs Wrath

I still love love people, but IDGAF anymore about hurting someone’s feelings because some people r #s2pid (I am in Florida, after all). We beat the competition at this YouTube & top 10 racket, I’m proud of the team. But before videos and top 10, I dabbled in scripted storytelling, not just because I like the subject matters I cover, but writing also allows me to explore psychology, sociology & human behaviour – insecurities, sins and virtues.

I also love competition, but realize most people don’t really compete cleanly. A few years ago I met a producer & shared some ideas. A year later, I noticed the producer pursued a project based on one of the ideas I presented. I got angry, but stopped short of unleashing wrath. People would tell me the producer was a cheater (implying they may also be a liar or thief, I presume). What was I to do, broadcast that to the world? Tell their spouse about it? It was hard, but I moved on. Around the same time, an entrepreneur started a business that prima facie encroached on our trademark. It didn’t help that the entrepreneur was supported by investors I knew. I’m human, I felt robbed and betrayed. But no one cared about my… feelings (and they shouldn’t). This was business, that I choose to operate with a given moral compass didn’t mean that others had to, as well. To each their own. It taught me to be more realistic and not give a F.

Elon Musk was absolutely wrong to tell marketers GFY, but… I kinda get it. His intentions are generally in the right place, but he’s also clearly in IDGAF mode, which is where entrepreneurs & executives have to operate in to survive (wonder why DEI is now dying across corporations? Because they don’t give a F – and never did).

People are always blown away by my level of transparency, but I actually used to hesitate to really open up, wondering “would an employee or advisor think something I said was about them?” (It’s not). These are life lessons for others and therapeutic for myself (and eventually, source material for my scripted projects in a future life). But increasingly, IDGAF anymore, either. 

As a Seinfeld fan I paraphrase: “You’re killing empathetic Ash,” and that’s good. The key to success is balance, but balance is a journey to a destination you never reach. Obviously being an asshole or petty is no way to live. But, if you’re
– Too nice? Be a bit more mean. Fear is a great motivator, though it has diminishing returns and can be overdone.
– Too selfless? Being selfish a little does wonders for your sanity. Your mental health isn’t more important than mine, snowflakes.
– Always passing the puck? Well you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Shoot mofos, shoot (but think first!)
– Constantly forgiving (even if you don’t forget)? Taking names never harmed anyone. Why give everyone a free pass all the time?

Disney, Hearst, Murdoch, Bloomberg, Luce didn’t build their empires overthinking people’s emotions, which is something I’ve always prioritized. Our more recent job satisfaction surveys in 2023 and 2021 were incredibly positive, but the first time I conducted a poll in 2017, I was floored to hear a motif about “incompetent colleagues.” This was ultimately on me: giving too many opportunities to unproven talent, and then not adhering to the “hire slow, fire fast” mantra.

Attrition is your friend, as they say. I used to have exit interviews to find out if we could’ve done anything differently. While there’s the odd departing employee that saddens me & I wish I could have retained, now I almost wish some would look yonder and find out for yourself if the grass is greener on the other side. Judging by the number of boomerang employees we have, not necessarily. In fact, I wasn’t dogmatic about avoiding boomerang employees, unlike say at Facebook or Bloomberg. Now? Not so sure anymore. Over the past fifteen years, an entire cottage industry of social video creators has emerged, dying to climb over the fence and join us. For years I hesitated recruiting external candidates, promoting from within. Now? IDGAF. Wanna join our army, HERE. Think I’m insane or intense? It’s a free world, keep walking (or searching).

My golden rule in management & communications is you can tell me about and ask me anything, but this isn’t that one-time NFL overtime rule when the first team who scored won. Oh no, I get the chance to respond. I’ll be respectful, I’ll be empathetic, but will tell you my thoughts, since I extended the courtesy to hear yours. Oh, and I can absolutely generalize the exchange and write about it? I won’t retaliate against you or punish you, but if feedback or an eventual article hurts your feelings, IDGAF.

Having FU money isn’t about suddenly being rude to the service staff, or mean in general. It’s actually recognizing you don’t have to work with unreasonable/unrealistic people or put yourself in uncomfortable positions.